By national averages at least, I am tall: At roughly 5’9” I stand about six inches above the standard for women. This is not a bad thing—I can easily reach most of the shelves in my apartment and enjoy clomping around like a giant on those occasions when I choose to wear heels—nor does it even feel that tall. Maybe just tall enough that I empathise with the challenge of height differences in dating.
When you’re having penis-in-vagina sex, it can be tricky to maneuver when someone clocks in under or around your same height: If you’re into eye contact and forward-facing positions, for example, you might be disappointed to find a shorter-torso-having partner bumps up against your chin. When you’re riding on top, you might find you have to crane your neck way down to reach your partner’s face.
Luckily, as far as coital imbalances go, there are some easy fixes.
In general, the positions that seem best suited to partners with height differences, regardless of their genders, are those that don’t involve face-to-face contact and instead put your genitals on the same plane. So if you are a person who towers over your companion, here are six solutions to make sex a little less awkward.
1. Man’s Best Friend
Doggy style is a reliable classic that works well for people of different heights. You don’t have to worry about your faces not lining up the way you would if you settled into boring old missionary. Also, it frees up his hands to play with your nipples and clit, which is an excellent bonus. To get in position, simply kneel on all fours and have him enter you from behind, either standing or kneeling, whatever works best.
2. Upstanding Citizen
For this one, choose a surface that hits your partner at waist level. Perch yourself on that with your legs spread while he positions himself in front of you for standing sex that puts your pelvises on the same level.
3. Downward Dog
Lying face down, with a pillow under your pelvis or your butt pitched slightly in the air, have your partner thrust into you from behind. In downward dog, there’s excellent potential for G-spot stimulation, plus the added pressure that comes from your weight bearing down on your clit as you grind against the bed or a hand. And when you’re not trying to stare into one another’s eyes, it doesn’t matter that your torso is a little too long for that anyway.
4. Cross Buttocks
Although it may look somewhat difficult to execute, the cross buttocks is ideal for height-divergent couples because, with both of you horizontal and your faces at 90 degree angles to one another, the only thing that matters is PIV contact. (Also, ample opportunity to smack his ass.) Lie on your back and have him lie over you, across your waist, penetrating you from a sideways angle.
5. Seated Wheelbarrow
Here’s a sexy option that might also build arm muscle, if you’re into that sort of thing: The seated wheelbarrow, which renders your heights irrelevant. Have your dude sit on the edge of a sturdy surface and position yourself so that you’re ass-up in his lap, with your hands planted firmly on the floor. Stretch your legs out behind his waist (it’ll probably work better if he supports your thighs) and pump away.
The spider has both of you reclining away from one another, mitigating any vertical distance that might typically separate your faces; as in cross buttocks, the only thing that matters here is your genital apex. Facing one another and seated crotch-to-crotch, sling your legs over your partner’s so that both of you have your soles rooted to the floor. Leaning back on your elbows, have him enter you and thrust from this laid-back position.
This article originally appeared on Women’s Health US
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