When it comes to the dating game, you can often be half way through the match when you discover your partner is a few players short of a team. As sharp as a bowling ball. Evidence of evolution going backwards. If you gave them a penny for their thoughts, you’d get change.
That discovery isn’t always dealbreaker (perhaps depending on how deep into the relationship you’ve got yourself) but it sure does make for some cracking stories.
A recent Ask Reddit thread has asked the Internet to share their experiences of finding out you were dating dolt, and the responses are pretty hilarious.
For one commenter, it was a disregard for fire safety.
“Every time I went to her house, there was small brown/melted “V” shapes in the carpet. I always wondered what they were. Then one day, I went over one time and saw her hair straightener lying on the carpet. She left it on ALL THE F*CKING TIME, and would just go to work. Like, how have you not burned your apartment complex down yet?”
For another, it was a misunderstanding about the origins of eggs.
“We were having dinner when I mentioned I couldn’t eat cheese because I’m lactose intolerant. He asked how I could eat eggs. I told him that lactose was found in dairy, which comes from cows. He vehemently rejected my explanation that eggs did not come from cows and were not dairy, and wouldn’t believe me until he googled it for himself.”
There seemed to be a lot of confusion around cows in general.
“My ex boyfriend saw a very large lady wearing double denim, then turned to me and said, ‘Wow, how many cows died for her outfit?!’ At first I laughed then realised he wasn’t really joking and after probing, genuinely believed that denim came from cows.”
Geography was an issue for one guy: “She legitimately thought Australia was a part of America.”
While it was weather for another: “When she told me that the wind comes from trees. You know, because they wave around, and that pushes the air around, making wind. No, she was not joking.”
“He looked out the car window to check his parking job,” one commenter wrote, “Then closed it on his own head.”
You can read more of the doozies here.
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