A new mom wants feedback from Reddit’s AITA forum about her response to baby weight comments — and the users have spoken. She began by explaining that she recently gave birth to her third child after a very difficult pregnancy. She suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, which meant she couldn’t keep liquids down. She was throwing up three to seven times a day, became hypoglycemic and was taking three different anti-nausea medications. Later, in the comment section, she explained that the enamel on her teeth is practically gone.
Fast forward to today. She’s returned to her original weight one week after giving birth. “People who were around me my entire pregnancy (family, coworkers, some friends, etc) have made similar comments about how ‘lucky’ I am to bounce back so quickly, how ‘grateful’ I must be to not have to ‘work off’ the baby weight, how they wish they were as ‘blessed’ as me,” she wrote.
This is frustrating to the mom because these people saw just how much she suffered during the pregnancy. She’s started making pointed comments back, like “Yeah, I would have rather been able to eat for the last ten months” or “I wouldn’t call involuntary starvation blessed” or “I’m more grateful that I can actually consume things now.” She’s receiving divided feedback on how she’s responding to these compliments.
“My mom thinks I’m justified and that the comments from others are insensitive,” the Reddit user wrote. “My grandma and some friends of mine think they’re unnecessary and that my peers are simply complimenting me and I’m being TA for making them feel bad.”
So, she turned to the forum. Is she being TA here?
Commenters reinforced that her friends/family/co-workers shouldn’t be making comments about her body. Many felt she was justified in her response. “NTA,” one person wrote. “When are people going to get it through their heads that commenting on other peoples’ bodies is never appropriate? You absolutely have every right to respond this way.”
Others spoke from personal experience. “I also had HG with my first and lost 30 lbs during the pregnancy,” a mom commented. “It was miserable, it was bullsh-t, it was scary, and I didn’t get to enjoy anything about being pregnant. After I gave birth, everyone kept saying similar things. They’re invalidating your struggles, and reminding them of that doesn’t make you an AH.”
One user explained that they used similar pointed comments to get people to reassess their unsolicited feedback. “I’ve been overweight my whole life and people feel entitled to comment about my body,” the person noted. “It’s none of their business and I don’t put up with it. A year ago I was diagnosed with cancer and have gone through chemo and a stem cell transplant. The number of people who have congratulated me on losing weight due to treatment (aka malnutrition) is astounding. People really can’t help themselves for some reason, and I always push back on it. Most recently someone told me she wished she could lose weight like I have, so I told her I hope she gets cancer so she can do so.”
This Reddit post is such an important reminder that it’s never appropriate to comment on someone’s postpartum body — even if it’s meant to be a compliment. It can be hurtful, insensitive and ignoring the person’s lived experience.
These gorgeous photos show moms who love their postpartum bodies.
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