A mom-to-be took to Reddit to share why she isn’t letting her stepmom ever meet her child, and a whole community is backing her up. She posted her quandary in the AITA forum, explaining that she’s always had a difficult relationship with her dad’s wife. Some of the offenses her stepmom has committed include: getting mad when her stepdaughter wouldn’t call her “mom,” going through her phone, telling her to lose weight and trying to get her to babysit her step-siblings on prom night.
The Reddit user explained that she had brunch with her dad and stepmom (whom her dad invited without her consent) and the conversation around the topic of her pregnancy got deeply uncomfortable. “She asks me all kinds of questions until she gets to names, she told me that I was going to name the [baby] Amy, her daughters name,” the user wrote. “I politely said no and said we already had a few names in mind. She started saying why I wasn’t allowing her to name her grandchild and she should get that right, I told her that it’s our right.”
The awful insults kept coming. “Then she decided to try to hit close to home saying that I was going to be a horrible mother, I’m already not taking care of myself, I look like sh*t, I’m already eating too much and probably killing my baby with how much I eat, and I just keep adding to how much of a self centered person I am by taking away her bonding with her grandchild.”
It was then that the Reddit user decided to tell her stepmom that she was never going to meet her child, which honestly, sounds completely fair. Many, many people in this mom-to-be’s life are weighing in and the majority are telling her that she’s making the wrong decision. “I’ve never ever gotten so much messages from so many different people,” she wrote. “Multiple people are telling me that she was wrong but I know how she can get but I shouldn’t deny her her grand baby, others are just saying I’m an AH, and my father is on her side to[o].” The only person who seems to be backing her up IRL is her husband.
So, she approached the Reddit community to find out if she was being TA. The definitive answer was no, she definitely was not. One comment, which received 8,700 upvotes, advised the user to have a serious conversation with her dad.
“NTA – you need to invite your father to your home on his own and lay it down hard,” the person wrote. “You will not accept such talk from her, this isn’t her grand child and if he wants access to his grandchild he better buck up. To sit there as she insulted you to your face and said such horrible things shows where he has put priorities. Tell him if he ever wants to see his grandchild he had better start calling her on her BS or both of them can get gone. Because honestly you don’t need her toxicity in your life, and you don’t need your father’s enabling of her either.”
Another person offered the following comment for the mom to say to family members who are upset with her decision: “I want my child to be loved, cherished and respected. I don’t want my child to constantly walk on eggshells or be pushed around.”
Many people expressed their horror over the fact that her dad hasn’t been standing up for her. “Jesus my blood pressure went up just reading this. NTA!!” a Reddit user wrote. “Cut that toxic disaster of a woman out of your life. I cannot believe your dad just sat there and listened to her be so savage. Might be time to have a chat with him too. (But congrats on the baby!)”
It’s absolutely clear that this mom is not in the wrong and it’s mind-boggling that anyone in her life is telling her otherwise. What would you do in this situation? Is there a best next step for this Reddit user?
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