On the agenda: Meeting with the boss at 3:30 p.m., yoga at 6 p.m., dinner at 7 p.m., and, oh look, you’ll be doing it at 9:40 p.m.
Scheduled sex might just sound like another pop-up notification on your Google calendar to get through, but most sexperts stand strongly behind it: “It’s notspontaneous, but it’s more likely to happen,” says Dr Terri Orbuch, relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.
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And it doesn’t mean the sex is less satisfying, fun, or intimate, says Orbuch. One fan of the practice says that if she and her partner didn’t plan ahead, getting down just wouldn’t happen. “My boyfriend works in consulting and travels four days a week, so I know that night he comes back, we’re getting after it,” says 29-year-old Dani C. “If it wasn’t a date, we’d probably both just pass out from exhaustion.”
Want to plan like a pro? “It doesn’t have to be about settling on missionary every Wednesday at 8:05 p.m.,” says sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., author of The Married Sex Solution. “It’s all about prioritizing sex so you find those five, 10, or 20 minute opportunities to get frisky the way you used to.”
That being said, there are certain times your libidos are more likely to be in sync. Check ‘em out:
In the A.M.
Rise and grind, baby. “Testosterone is higher for both men and women in the morning, so if you can set your alarm clock 20 minutes earlier or jump into the shower together, you should be primed and ready to go,” says Van Kirk. And that extra rush of endorphins might be the magic you need to plow through a crummy work commute.
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After the Gym
Odds are you’re feeling damn good about your body after sweating it out, and that cardio or resistance training has given your testosterone levels a boost again. (Maybe this is where the whole sex-with-my-trainer-fantasy comes from?) Research even shows that working out can fire up your desire to get down. One study from the University of Texas at Austin found that when women cycled for 20 minutes and then watched an X-rated film, there was a serious boost in blood flow to their genitals from the exercise—pretty awesome orgasm fodder.
From 7 to 9 p.m.
Lots of us are partial to an afternoon delight, but are we really going to scamper out of work for a quickie at 2 p.m? Nah. But, according to the National Sleep Foundation, a quarter of us skip sex because we’re too tired, so forget about waiting until you’re both bleary-eyed in bed.
Instead, your best bet is to get after it during a Bachelorette commercial break. “Maybe it’s just oral and a make out or a 10-minute quickie—it still counts,” says Van Kirk. So go ahead and pencil in that P in V time.
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