Even for the most savvy sex adventurers, vibrators can be confusing.
Where to put them, how fast to set them, and what exactly to do with them are all valid questions—and most vibrators don’t come with a full-blown how-to guide. Plus, if you’re going to invest in a good toy you want to make sure you’re getting the most, ahem, bang for your buck.
So, my sweet readers, I’ve put together this guide just for you—whether you’re a newbie masturbator or a vibrator connoisseur—based on recs from sex educators and the badass women who literally design sex toys for a living. May you never have a drab vibe sesh again!
1. Start over the underwear.
Start off your vibe journey by playing over a barrier—like sheets or underwear. The added texture can be really fun to play with, says Stephanie Alys, co-founder of MysteryVibe. “It allows you to experiment with higher power settings,” without overstimulating your clit.
2. Don’t ignore the labia.
The clitoris is an iceberg—there’s much more going on than the eye can see at first glance. The clitoris actually goes all the way down the labia (those flaps of skin around your vulva), so pressing your toy on and around that area can feel excellent, says Alys.
3. Tease yourself.
“When you’re oh-so close, back off a bit instead of increasing the intensity,” says Alys, “If you know a certain setting gets you off, try playing with a new vibration pattern first. Giving your body time to go through the build-up again will make those incredible sensations even stronger.”
You can also go the remote-control route for teasing with a partner. Have your partner start and stop the vibration without touching you using the We-vibe app-controlled vibe. Better yet, wear the vibrator to dinner and let your partner tease you before you even hit the sheets.
4. Grind into it.
Lie face down, put the vibrator underneath you, and grind into it for a fun new way to get off. And to to avoid overstimulation, Alicia Sinclair, creator of Le Wand, recommends you “keep the vibrator and your hips moving,” the entire time you’re playing. Plus, the more you move, the more spots you can explore.
5. Use it all over your body.
Vibrators aren’t just for clitorises/vaginas. “I prefer calling ‘clitoral vibes’ external vibes because they can be used anywhere on the outside of the body where you want extra stimulation,” says sex educator Kait Scalisi, MPH. “You can use them on the clit, the labia, the balls, along the shaft of the penis, on the nipples, against the cheek during oral sex…and anywhere else you crave more.”
6. Place it directly on the clit.
A classic way to use a vibrator is putting it directly on your clit and moving it back and forth, or in circular motions. This is a great technique if you like a lot of direct stimulation, or after you’ve warmed up a bit and want a little more pressure.
7. Go for penetration.
Vibrators can also go inside of you! You can hit that G-spot by using a curved vibrator and pulling it towards your belly button. Or, mimic P-in-V sex by thrusting the vibrator in and out. Whether you choose to turn on the vibration or use your toy as more of a dildo is up to you.
8. Enhance oral sex.
“Vulva-owners can use an internal vibrator to hit their G-spot while their partner uses their mouth on their clitoris,” says Alys. (MysteryVibe’s Crescendo can be bent into that just-right curve, while also staying out of your partner’s face.)
“Penis-owners might also enjoy a vibrator against their shaft or perineum while their partner gives a blow job,” she adds.
9. Go for penetration and external stimulation.
“Use a toy with a curve or your fingers to reach your G-spot, and add a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris at the same time,” says Sinclair. “Go one-handed by finding a toy that can do both at the same time.” For example, Le Wand’s Curve attachment stimulates the G-spot while also sending rumbly vibrations to your clitoris.
By hitting two pleasure points at once, you automatically up the intensity. “And achieving that level of pleasure on your own can be so empowering!” says Sinclair.
10. Experiment with rimming.
Use a vibrator around the rim of your or your partner’s anus for a lovely tingly sensation. This is also a great way to slowly introduce anal play before taking the dive into penetration.
11. Attempt anal penetration.
Using a tush-safe toy (one that has a larger base so it doesn’t get lost) and a lot of lube, anal penetration and vibrations can be super-pleasurable—especially for those with prostates.
12. Dive into double penetration.
If you’re a real penetration lover, vibrators are your best friend. Mix vaginal and anal penetration for the truly filled-up feeling. Whether you use two vibrators, a vibrator and a finger, or a vibrator and a penis—double penetration is excellent for both solo and partner play time.
13. Use it to relieve cramps.
Vibrators are more than for just pleasure: “A little-known fact about vibrators is that some people have said they help with pelvic and vaginal pain during sex,” sex and consent educator, Emma Kaywin, explains. “Whether you’re cramping, have vulvodynia, or other types of vaginal pain, sometimes you just needs a bit of distraction to get ready for penetration or touches.” So starting off your sexy time with some clitoral vibration may help ease you into partner play.
14. Try it as a neck massager.
Whether you use a toy that’s actually branded for your neck or repurpose your Magic Wand, help your sore neck out with a little vibrating massage before bed.
This article originally appeared on Women’s Health US.
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