Women, forgive us. When we men are horny, we have a tendency to behave like dogs— pawing, panting, and begging like you’re wagging a bone in front of our faces.
But we’re not always horny. So for the other 98 percent of the time, you have every right to expect us to act like adult humans. Unless you and your guy have decided to stay in the booty-call zone, if you’re sleeping with him, he should at some point show interest in something other than getting you naked. So, worried that you’re with a guy who’s only after a good hookup? Here’s what to look for:
He skimps on foreplay.
You’ve gone down on this guy how many times? And he never repays the favour? Well—it sounds like he’s getting screwed, and you’re getting screwed over.
He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.
If he really wanted to integrate you into his life, he’d start with the dudes he hangs with.
He never asks about your friends. Or your family. Or your job.
Same logic—if a guy’s just looking for a f— buddy, he’ll avoid all the messy stuff. But as soon as he’s ready for a relationship, your personal life won’t seem messy to him.
He’s a little too busy to make plans.
You: “We should do something this weekend.”
Him: “Yeah, we’ll see.”
You: “No seriously! We should go to a movie or something.”
Him: “Well, maybe. I get kind of restless in movies.”
You: “What about dinner? You have to eat, right?”
Him: “Of course, but I might have to do this other thing anyway.”
He’s blowing you off. And even if you haven’t tried to initiate a non-sexual hangout, he should. At some point, he should just sit across from you and talk. No lingerie, no groping, just conversation.
He texts you when he’s out, but he just wants you to meet him back at his place.
A booty call is fine if you’re comfortable with it. But a booty call is not a date. Don’t convince yourself otherwise.
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He doesn’t like his friends’ girlfriends—and he’s really vocal about it.
John’s girlfriend is totally brainless. And now that Frank’s dating Dianna, he acts like he’s 80 years old. If your guy can’t say anything nice about his friend’s girls, he’s probably not interested in being tied down either.
He’s a little too good at making sure you don’t forget anything.
“Don’t forget your jacket. Oh, and here’s your bra. And your lipstick. And your bobby pin. And this flyer… did you want it? You grabbed it last night as we were leaving the bar, so take it if you want it. Otherwise I’m going to throw it away.”
He never makes you (or takes you to) breakfast.
There’s something really intimate about the morning-after meal (especially with the puffy eyes, smeared makeup, and Nikki Sixx hairdo). If he’s really interested you, this is a no-brainer. If he’s not, then you’ll probably be grabbing a bagel on your way home.
He makes everything sexual.
You nailed a big presentation at work today, and he says, “I bet you look smoking hot with a laser pointer.” You learned how to install your own dimmer switch, and he says, “Whoa—I can’t wait to see you naked in dim lighting.” You created an app that charges cell phones by pulling static electricity from the air, and he does a pelvic thrust in your direction and says, “Oh—I’ve got something you can pull from the air.” Seems like this guy might be missing an opportunity to give you compliment, no?
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This article originally appeared on Womenshealthmag.com.
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