Personal Health

How To Turn A Guy On In Bed

While it may not be uncharted territory, your partner’s body has plenty of areas that deserve further exploration.

The best part? Hitting his hotspots has serious thigh-quivering benefits for you…

His brain

Despite what you’ve heard about the head down there, “Orgasm is all about brain activation,” says Gert Holstege, a sexual researcher at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. He found that when a woman orgasms, the part of her brain associated with relaxation lights up, while the male orgasm triggers activity in the region of the brain that deals with sensation. So he needs a greater amount and variety of touch than you.

Local knowledge Be his best bed mate yet by upping the foreplay. A University of New Brunswick, Canada, survey found while most women assume men want less foreplay, the male ideal is about 20 minutes of pre-sex nooky.

Your souvenir Treat yourself by treating him – a study from the University of Indiana, US, found women who performed five kinds of sex acts (think: positions, manual and oral stimulation) had an 89 per cent chance of having a mind-blowing orgasm themselves. Gives new meaning to “nice girls finish last”.

His mouth

Travellers too often rush by the first spot on their checklist to get to showier attractions, but linger longer and it’ll enhance your whole trip.

“The lips are full of nerve endings – about 100 more than your fingers,” says Siski Green, author of How to Blow her Mind in Bed. “Not even the genitals have as much sensitivity.”

And male saliva is laden with libido-boosting testosterone, which can prime you for sex. This may be why a University of California, US, study found men prefer sloppier kisses.

Local knowledge Explore everywhere. A study from Princeton University, US, found that kissing the eyelids, stomach and neck are the biggest turn-ons. The reason: our mating behaviour is designed to show our partner we trust them, and giving them access to our most vulnerable areas is the best way to do that.

Your souvenir It may make your heart pound, but kissing also lowers stress levels. At Lafayette College in the US, researchers found 15 minutes of pashing lowers your body’s levels of anxiety-causing cortisol.

His testicles

They might look like a pair of walnuts in tan tights, but his goolies need loving, too. “Testicles are extremely sensitive, so it’s amazing how often they’re ignored during sex,” says Emily Dubberley, author of The Field Guide to F*cking.

“Put each one in your mouth in turn and gently suck it. Sucking the scrotum also gives him pleasure. But don’t squeeze – testicles bruise easily.”

Local knowledge “Tugging his testicles gently downward as you’re stroking his shaft increases the time it takes and the intensity of his orgasm,” adds Dubberley. “Or cup them in your hand while using your fingers to play with his perineum.”

Your souvenir It may sound like a rumour started by a sexual opportunist, but semen can improve your mood. The State University of New York, US, found it contains chemicals that elevate mood and help you sleep, and at least three types of antidepressants. And the chemicals work whether absorbed penetratively or orally. Huh.

His penis

Like Sydney Tower, you may have seen this erection many times, but chances are you’ve only focused on the top bit. The next time you, erm, head there, keep in mind that the top of the penis responds well to friction.

“Use your mouth or your hand to gently rub it,” says Green. Think genie’s lamp rather than starting a fire with sticks, though.

Local knowledge Hold his shaft with your other hand and give it a squeeze. “Firm, but not hard,” says Green. “The pressure restricts blood flow, which makes his erection harder and delays his orgasm.”

Your souvenir Great holidays are shared experiences, so point him towards your hotspots, too. According to Steve and Vera Bodansky’s book Extended Massive Orgasm (um, we’re listening), you’re more likely to orgasm if the upper-left part of your clitoris is stimulated. Never be afraid to give directions.

His perineum

While off the beaten track, the skin between the genital and anal areas is worth a visit as it’s full of sensitive nerve endings. “Start by gently cupping his testicles as you stroke or lick his shaft,” says Green. “If he likes this, lightly brush your fingers further back and begin to stroke his perineum, using gentle, upward strokes.”

Local knowledge “If he enjoys it, press harder or use your knuckles,” says Green. “This will put pressure on his sensitive prostate gland.”

Your souvenir This works on you, too. Improve your travel conditions with a dab of lube – two-thirds of women find their sexual activities more orgasmic with added lubrication, according to a study from the University of Indiana, US.

His prostate

Like lots of uber-hip bars, you need to go in through the back door. “The prostate is known as the male G-spot,” says Green. “It’s chestnut-sized, about 5cm inside the anus and cooks up 50-70 per cent of his semen, so it can generate very intense orgasms.”

Local knowledge If he’s into the idea, slide two lubricated fingers in and, in a “come hither” motion, stroke gently toward his perineum. Play with his penis at the same time to go for a “bi-gasm”.

Your souvenir If you don’t fancy getting your hands dirty, go shopping: sex shops have a range of “prostate locator” toys that will do the job for you. Now, go forth and discover, intrepid explorer.

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